Happy Tuesday!!
This post has been much delayed. I know many can understand that time really is not your own with a needy newborn and a crazy-spastic 3 year old. I'm not sure how people with a whole slew of kiddos can do it. I'd absolutely pull my hair out.
What's new?
First…I have my 6 week follow-up appointment this Thursday which made me realize that my beautiful little Charlie is 6 weeks old today!! How did that happen? He's starting to look more infant and less newborn every day.
Second… I've been seeking God through prayer and scripture to gain direction on making decisions lately. I'm trying to make sure my life puts God first and my family immediately after. My flawed self will admit that I don't always do that. I catch myself trying to put my own needs first and getting caught up with worldly temptations and worries (I want a bigger house, I want to lose weight, I want to figure out our finances…). All of this really doesn't matter when it comes to my relationship with God. So I'm working on it and I will continue to do so.
I do have two main topics of today's post. One is that I will be 30 in the very near future, and the other is leaps of faith.
Turning 30: In less than a month, I'm entering into a new decade of my life. I'm pretty satisfied with what my 20's have given me. I graduated with my Bachelors degree, got my first "grown up" job at Walmart legal, met Lance, got married, had William, graduated with my Masters degree, got my first "new career" job, and had Charlie. That's a pretty complete life. I hope the next 10 years can be spent cherishing my family and bettering myself. I told a friend the other night that 25 year old Jessie would be kicking almost 30 year old Jessie in the butt because of how much I've lost my level of fitness. I'm about 35lbs heavier than I was a 25. Granted I've had 2 kids in that time, but now I'm ready to get back to my optimal and enjoy life at its fullest. The only challenge is not wanting to pull time away from my boys to work out. Hopefully I will find a way to spend more time with them during the day so I can have an hour or two to myself during the day without feeling that guilt.
I'm so thankful for everything God has provided for me over the last 10 years, and cannot wait to see what is in store for me over the next.
Leaps of Faith: It seems like every time I open my bible or devotional, I see at least one verse referring to faith and making choices based off a trust in God. I will be terribly honest and say that this is my biggest weakness. Many know that I have an anxiety disorder. It is SO much better than it was after I graduated college. I attribute that improvement primarily to my annoyingly laid back husband. He has so much peace and trust in God that I can't help but to pick up on some. I'm still no where in the place that I need to be. I stress over my weight (see Turning 30 reference). I obsessively stress over finances and the +/- of our bank account. Probably because there isn't enough + and a little too much -. :) However, as I said, I'm seeing that God is constantly telling me to stop stressing and worrying and just put my faith in him. With the things happening in our family right now, it's more of giant LEAPS of faith rather than just trusting in him. My family and husband are reassuring me that things will happen for the best if I just do what God is telling me to do. I know what that is, and it's like I'm standing on the edge of a high dive terrified of a massive belly flop when I hit the water. The rational side of me knows that God won't let that happen to me, but the anxiety side says "I can't jump. I can't jump. It's going to hurt. I really don't want a water enema if I land wrong!".
This being said, I'm on the verge of a leap. I need prayer because it scares the crap out of me. The unknown has always scared me. I'm a cautious planner and hate to not see the next 5-10 steps. I'm posting the verses below because I feel like they are what God is putting out there for me, and maybe some of you need them as well.
Hopefully I can eventually post more than once a week, but until then - See ya later!
This post has been much delayed. I know many can understand that time really is not your own with a needy newborn and a crazy-spastic 3 year old. I'm not sure how people with a whole slew of kiddos can do it. I'd absolutely pull my hair out.
What's new?
First…I have my 6 week follow-up appointment this Thursday which made me realize that my beautiful little Charlie is 6 weeks old today!! How did that happen? He's starting to look more infant and less newborn every day.
Second… I've been seeking God through prayer and scripture to gain direction on making decisions lately. I'm trying to make sure my life puts God first and my family immediately after. My flawed self will admit that I don't always do that. I catch myself trying to put my own needs first and getting caught up with worldly temptations and worries (I want a bigger house, I want to lose weight, I want to figure out our finances…). All of this really doesn't matter when it comes to my relationship with God. So I'm working on it and I will continue to do so.
I do have two main topics of today's post. One is that I will be 30 in the very near future, and the other is leaps of faith.
Turning 30: In less than a month, I'm entering into a new decade of my life. I'm pretty satisfied with what my 20's have given me. I graduated with my Bachelors degree, got my first "grown up" job at Walmart legal, met Lance, got married, had William, graduated with my Masters degree, got my first "new career" job, and had Charlie. That's a pretty complete life. I hope the next 10 years can be spent cherishing my family and bettering myself. I told a friend the other night that 25 year old Jessie would be kicking almost 30 year old Jessie in the butt because of how much I've lost my level of fitness. I'm about 35lbs heavier than I was a 25. Granted I've had 2 kids in that time, but now I'm ready to get back to my optimal and enjoy life at its fullest. The only challenge is not wanting to pull time away from my boys to work out. Hopefully I will find a way to spend more time with them during the day so I can have an hour or two to myself during the day without feeling that guilt.
I'm so thankful for everything God has provided for me over the last 10 years, and cannot wait to see what is in store for me over the next.
Leaps of Faith: It seems like every time I open my bible or devotional, I see at least one verse referring to faith and making choices based off a trust in God. I will be terribly honest and say that this is my biggest weakness. Many know that I have an anxiety disorder. It is SO much better than it was after I graduated college. I attribute that improvement primarily to my annoyingly laid back husband. He has so much peace and trust in God that I can't help but to pick up on some. I'm still no where in the place that I need to be. I stress over my weight (see Turning 30 reference). I obsessively stress over finances and the +/- of our bank account. Probably because there isn't enough + and a little too much -. :) However, as I said, I'm seeing that God is constantly telling me to stop stressing and worrying and just put my faith in him. With the things happening in our family right now, it's more of giant LEAPS of faith rather than just trusting in him. My family and husband are reassuring me that things will happen for the best if I just do what God is telling me to do. I know what that is, and it's like I'm standing on the edge of a high dive terrified of a massive belly flop when I hit the water. The rational side of me knows that God won't let that happen to me, but the anxiety side says "I can't jump. I can't jump. It's going to hurt. I really don't want a water enema if I land wrong!".
This being said, I'm on the verge of a leap. I need prayer because it scares the crap out of me. The unknown has always scared me. I'm a cautious planner and hate to not see the next 5-10 steps. I'm posting the verses below because I feel like they are what God is putting out there for me, and maybe some of you need them as well.
Hopefully I can eventually post more than once a week, but until then - See ya later!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8
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